JOB INTERVIEWS ARE MULTI-LAYERED ASS-OFFS

I applied for a job within the company.

I didn't get the job. This is the second time I've applied within the company and haven't gotten it. I suppose being a highly qualified, personable individual that is very interested in what their company stands for and supports isn't enough. What IS enough is having snazz-bang interview skills. Let's make the analogy that: Interview Skills = Great Ass. You walk in, parade around the room, and show 'em your ass.

"Hey there, why do you have the best ass for the job?"

"Well, The last three jobs I've held, it's been well known that I've gotten top tier compliments for my ass...It's round, has proportion, and the fumes emitted from it smell like vanilla."

"Great, thanks. We'll let you know"

Later...

"We're sorry! We've decided to go with the other candidates that have applied. A few things: While your ass may have been raved about in the last position you were in (*wink*), and believe me, you DO have an INCREDIBLE ass, it's just that the asses that you're ass was up against were absolutely top-notch asses and, well, we feel that your ass tended to curve a little too sharply towards the upper part of the hamstring, and that scar you had from your accident could use a little blush. Also, the smell emitted was more of a clove-and-vanilla scent, and unfortunately, the noses that occupy the building in which you will be housed can't stand cloves." We will be hiring again in the fall, and would encourage you to apply then. This shoud give you some time for a little cosmetic surgery, pilates workouts designed to tone the lower buttock, and a pointed change in diet."



I will say that I know I am as much or more qualified than over half of the folks who are currently working the position(s) I applied for. Nothing against the department or the folks who made the decision. We're all human and I'm just a little pissed off right now.

But, my ass is great.

So...smell ya in the fall.